|
under_control
|
» lovers I got back from my trip, made a single post, and then more or less disappeared. I don't know why. Call it an extension of my vacation. Last night I met up with the woman I've been seeing for the last few months. I could be melodramatic and say, "she dumped me." But that's not really an accurate description of what happened. She did tell me that she had met someone else and that we would have to end our romantic affiliation. In a way I feel much better and less confused now. Since meeting her I realized that I enjoy hanging out with her and just talking and such, but I was worried about the sexual aspect of our relationship, because it was a physical manifestation of a romantic relationship. And the problem is that I'm not sure I'm ready to be in a romantic relationship yet. So now we know the boundaries of our relationship. And as trite and naïve as it sounds, we can pursue a real friendship. On the other hand, the cute little redheaded girl...Well, there's another situation where a sexual relationship was brought back to the level of "friendship." We had been talking regularly on the phone. But about a month ago, perhaps as a result of the stress I was feeling, I made her uncomfortable during a phone conversation by admitting that I had stronger feelings for her than friendship. Now I think I've destroyed even the friendship because she doesn't seem interested in returning my calls. OK. That's that. The whole relationship thing is not really taking up a great deal of my time or energy. I feel like I'm watching it as an outsider; remarking on the things I say and what I do, but removed from it. I just wanted to get that all out so that I wouldn't have to go over it again. Besides, my diary needed updating. Yep, low quality filler, just to get something "up there." I love America!
|
|
|
diaryland |