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under_control
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» attempt I think that I might have aimed a bit high when I declared that I would like to write down my thoughts on the concept of "Enlightenment." I've run some of my ideas past various friends and associates and received a lot of flak in return. Not that I didn't expect this. It was just a bit dissapointing. Instead of launching into a grandiose diatribe on the subject, I'd rather write about my upbringing for just a moment. I was raised in the midwestern states of the U.S. If the state begins and ends with a vowel, chances are I lived there for a while. Ohio, Iowa, Illinois (OK, so it ends with an S, but you don't pronounce it). I did my best to avoid living in Indiana. My childhood stomping-ground was a small subdivision outside of Cincinnati, Ohio, surrounded by cattle pastures and corn fields. My neighbors were rock-solid Mid-Westerners. If you were to say the word "Enlightment" to them the would roll their eyes and tell you to go back to California. Then they would probably crank up the KISS tape. Well, oddly enough,I've been living in California for over three years now. And I'll be gol'darn if I haven't stumbled upon the path to what I think people mean by Enlightenment. To me, the first steps of this path (and I won't speculate much further because I don't know what comes next) is the awareness that you are an individual in the world. Now, this is something Mr. Rogers has been telling us for years. But it really has to sink in. This is still pretty basic though. The next step seemed to be the realization that everyone around you sees the world differently than you do. It is important to realize this, otherwise people are completely incomprehensible. OK, no major revelations here. The leap that I didn't make until recently is the realization that you exist outside of the things that are around you everyday. This means that if I were to come home from work one day, after being fired, and find that my appartment had burned and all that was in it was lost, I would still be the same person. My job, my possesions...These things are not what I am. Even further still I find the last two concepts, and this is as far as I've gotten... The concern for most of us is what we are going to do at some time in the future or what we did at some point in the past. We dwell on mistakes. We fret about decisions that have to be made and the impact they will have on our future happiness. But what we seldom do is to stop and remember that future happiness is not real. We exist NOW. You are reading this NOW. Look up and smile because you have everything you need around you to live. You have food to eat and drink. I'm betting that you have a place to sleep and it is quite comfortable. Be happy RIGHT NOW. Sounds sappy? Lastly, what I've realized is that Enlightenment is not something that you can be taught. You can read books all day and night about it, but it will not click until you are ready for it to click. It will roll over you and not touch you. You may nod and agree, but until you are ready (and I don't know what makes us ready) it will just not sink in. OK... crazy? Maybe. Oh, and one thing that makes me happy right now is writing with my left foot resting on top of my Oxford Concise English dictionary. That's comfort. There. I feel better.
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