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under_control
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» sunrise I've just come back to my apartment from watching the Sun rise. I walked off in the general direction of East this morning and about 20 minutes later found myself on Sacaramento Avenue beside a schoolyard. The setting was not tranquil, with cars zipping past behind me on the divided road. But that did not matter in the least. I've seen the Sun rise before, but today it was somehow different. I watched the little clouds above the hills grow incandescent until they were too bright to stare at. I couldn't imagine anything more radiant. And then, between the trunks of trees on the tops of the hills, miles away, the true light of the Sun began to filter through. It was incredible to me that anything could be so bright. As the limb of that Light broke over the hilltop, I was truly in awe. This was the definition of Light. This was True Light. And I turned to look at my new shadow on the houses across the street. Through an open window I saw sunlight on the walls of a classroom, where just minutes ago there was grey shadow. And I sensed for the first time how sunlight is like a fluid which washes over everything that must stand still and wait for it to arrive. I had many thoughts in hour that I walked. I hoped to return and record some of them. But it was like walking with sand cupped in the palms of two hands. I could feel the thoughts sliding away as I trudged back. Now all I have left is the distinct impression of this morning's Sunrise, and the assurity that I had good thoughts, which I will not pale by an attempt to write them here. They are my thoughts, after all, and I do not neccessarily have to share them. In fact, I think that it is good sometime, to keep something for yourself. When it is ready, it will come out.
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diaryland |