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under_control
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» blood Many things have been influencing my emotions of late. I really can't go into details about some of the more personal issues, but I can relate what has been contributing to the general mood of my life. First, Iris found that she had accidentally managed to acquire two copies of the CD "In the Aeroplane Over the Sea" by Neutral Milk Hotel. She lent a copy to me, warning me that it was pretty raw and unpolished. After going through my recent DJ/House/Ambient phase, I was ready to hear some music with good lyrics. I wasn't dissapointed. I took a few listens to get used to the gritty, acoustic sound, but now I'm hooked. The extra copy became mine. Iris eloquently described the music as "so sweet and sad," which it certainly is. Listen to a snippet of the track "In the Aeroplane Over the Sea" on RealAudio. (That weird whistly sound is a saw--yes like you use to cut trees down--played with a bow.) Well, anyway. That's the sort of sappy stuff I've been listening to. And then a few weeks ago, on a whim, I picked up a copy of Acme Novelty Libraries Issue #5: Jimmy Corrigan, the Smartest Kid on Earth. I've never been a fan of comics or "graphic novels," but I was compelled to pick this up. And before I could read it, rmutt and Iris got their hands on it and raved about it. The story is so incredibly melancholy and full of misery. The three of us couldn't believe how much emotional impact could come from a "comic book." So last night, after a cup of cocoa and conversation with Iris, a quiet ride home on the train with Neutral Milk Hotel on the headphones, and then curling up to finish off the last editon in the saga of Jimmy Corrigan, I found myself bursting into tears. I lay there more or less sobbing over, as I remember, how tragic and yet beautiful the world is. And when I opened my eyes I was stunned to see blood all over everything; the pillow, the sheets, my shirt, me. I stumbled into the bathroom and looked into the mirror to see my face covered with blood, from a nosebleed no less. But what astounded me was that my eyes, which normally range in color from hazel to a brownish-green, had changed to the lightest jade, bordering on blue. And for some reason, my eyes, at that moment looked so beautiful to me that I started sobbing all over again and watching the deep red of my blood splashing into the clean white porcelain of the sink. It was overwhelming to say the least. And that's the way it really happened. Last night.
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diaryland |