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under_control
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» questions What was I talking about? Why is my picture up here? Sometimes, I swear, I feel like a different person than I was the last time I was here. I guess I should be happy, because I usually feel a bit older (no, not physically) and more centered. I've made great plans for this weekend. The plans are to do absolutely nothing with anyone on Saturday. I'll be riding my bicycle to the marina park in Berkeley and just sitting quietly in the sea breeze until my hind-regions ache. I do have a bass lesson at 1pm, but that will be followed by a session of clothing shopping in the Haight, and then I have no plans whatsoever. I need to clear my head quite a bit. My mind has been feeling very cluttered lately. I've been getting plenty of sleep, and I've even *gasp* made some headway on cleaning my apartment. But I feel like everything is going on around me in a crazy jumble and I need to sit down and sort it out. What am I doing? What happened to my plans of returning to school? What about teaching? Didn't I want to do that? How serious am I about film/video? Do I need to worry that I'm not in a relationship? It's not that I want to _answer_ these questions. I really just want to organize them and try to find some pattern in them. I think the questions we ask ourselves can be more indicative of what we want and need than the answers to those questions. Maybe.
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diaryland |