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under_control
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» house sitting Hah... I bet nobody even sees this entry, it's been such a long time since I last scribbled. First off... X-10 can rot in Hell for eternity. I've been dealing with their damn "vaguely purient" ads on the site I run at work for the last two years. Now I have to see them on Diaryland too. X-10 is SLEEZE personified... or is that Websitified? I've been house-sitting for the last few weeks, which means I've been without Internet access for the last few weeks, except from work (where I am now). I'm house sitting for a woman I was once attracted to. My feelings for her dwindled to friendship a few months ago. I remember once, last year, being invited to "crash" at her place after a (Valentine's Day) party. We had gone out for a burger together at 3AM. And she realized that I had no way back to Berkeley from San Francisco until the trains started running again at 6:30AM. She insisted that I come back with her and watch "Sunset Boulevard" and generally hang out until the trains were running again. I was so overwhelmed as she unlocked the outer door to her building, then the short elevator ride up three floors in one of those old elevators with the collapsing gates, then at the door of her apartment...and she was unlocking it...and I was IN her place! Being in a woman's place, surrounded by feminine things after being seperated for so long. I was giddy. I was in awe. Two weeks ago when I returned to her apartment, alone, with the key she had had cut for me, I felt none of that. I only felt a bit like an intruder. But it's gone well. I like her cat. I like having a place in the city. I like buying bad food at little 24-hour stores the size of a one-car garage and run by swarthy bearded men with unplaceable accents at 2AM. I've started to enjoy those pre-made, pre-cut sandwiches you find in plastic triangles and 1-liter bottles of ginger ale. I like staying at work until 1AM, using the company's dime to talk to my sister in Ohio for hours about nothing in particular. Then riding my motorcycle across town to get a triangle-packed sandwich. But being away from my Berkeley home has put me on edge too. I've had a number of people comment that I've seemed more tense, less fun, more frustrated the last few days. What could it be? I feel it...they're right.
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diaryland |