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under_control
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» enjoy the ride Things that make me smile have become so much more precious to me over the last two years. There was a time, early on in my West Coast days, when I would be amazed at finding myself laughing out loud. I guess a part of me thought I would never laugh again. Now I am conscious of everything that excersizes those facial muscles. Conscious and grateful. My smiles don't come easy either. Sure, I wear a smile when interacting with my fellow employees and assorted cohorts, but it is a smile of propriety. No-one likes to discourse with a frowner. My latest smile-fix comes in the form of e-mails from someone I've never met, but who seems to be cut from the same cloth as myself. In the short time since the correspondence began, I've come to loathe, no, despise SPAM e-mail arriving in my mailbox and jarring me from my reading or drowsing by jingling my Eudora. False alarms! But when the musical alert sounds and I see that address bold and highlighted a broad smile works across my face and I feel more connected to my fellow man (and woman). I've been online for years, and I've had my share of friendly correspondenses with other denizens of the Net. In those years I have learned some things about online friendships. The most interesting is that they can be like intense and concentrated real-life friendships. Concentrated in that they can be fleeting; Intense in that a great deal of personal trust and information can be exchanged in the duration of the relationship. For the longest time I would fret about the uncertainty of my online friendships. I particularly miss corresponding with Kate, my wise inertlocutrix in Canada who could've be my mother, but who felt so much more like a great friend and teacher. Kate is an IRC user, and I now eschew IRC as too draining of time, energy and sanity. I miss Kate though. But now I follow the advice of my friend Sarah (who was my boss once upon a time in Chicago) who so sagely entreated me to simply enjoy those things that give me pleasure. "Troy," she tells me, "just enjoy the ride, baby."
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diaryland |