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under_control
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» SWM ISO LTR Sometimes a morbid fascination grips me and I find myself looking through personal ads. I'll tell no lies here, the first thing I look at in the local paper is the "Missed Matches" section, just in case I made some sort of impression on someone who was now desperately seeking me out across the East Bay. (There, I made myself laugh.) But then I delve into the actually personals and look at the people trying to formulate themselves into 30 words or less. I generally shift uncomfortably with a weak smile on my face that sometimes breaks into a cruel snicker until I remind myself that snickering at headlines like "Smart, Intellegent Woman" isn't very nice. So, when I found myself awake at 3:30am and back in front of the computer after rerereading an e-mail, I sat listless and untired, wondering what to do with the entire Internet at my disposal. And, while checking one of my many web-based e-mail accounts (most of which I check at least four times a year), I stumbled across a link for Excite's SlideShow Personals. I simply could not resist. Now, after sitting through 101 photographs, headlines and ages (yeah right, like most of these people were AT LEAST 10 years older than the age said) of lonely Bay Area women (while listening to the very melancholy music of Portishead's Dummy, I should add to set the mood) I would like to request that if I reach the age of 35 and I am not in a LTR (Long Term Relationship in personals-speak) someone, anyone, please shoot me in the face repeatedly with a gun. Am I cruel? I'm not trying to be. Ok, there were a few headlines that I mocked and snickered at. But for the most part, I just sat there, hoping that each one of these people would eventually be happy. On the non-morose side of the day, rmutt has talked me into flying up to Vancouver, BC this weekend. We leave around noon on Friday, which is OK, now that I'm technically his boss. He's made vague indications that one of his aquaintences will put me up for the two nights I'm there. I'm just going with the flow. He intends to spend much of the time with his girlfriend, and has arranged for a woman he knows to show me around the city most of Saturday. He keeps saying this like "she's really beautiful but she's a bit unhappy right now, I think she needs to find a nice guy to be with, she's been dating a string of shallow losers." To which I just nod or make an "uh-huh" sound. rmutt is notorious for misrepresenting people and situations to appease his own twisted pleasures. I've learned to be cautious of everything he tells me, and he knows it and that's why we get along. Oh, we're going to Vancouver because rmutt just had his book release and there will be a bit of a party there, in his old bailiwick.
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diaryland |