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under_control
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» am I M/D?
Hey, alright! Just got home from work and it's...2:34AM. Back to work in five hours. I can't decide if my mind is blank because I'm exhausted our because I honestly have nothing I want to say at this time. I guess I could try for a quick explaination of the manic/depression thing, and the notation I use on the archive page. I'm probably one of the luckiest manic/depressives around. My depressive states are never so bad that I cease to function like some people I know. My depression is very mild. I almost feel sedated when I'm depressed, and it's just about the only time I can concentrate and be creative. Outwardly I tend to be quiet and morose. Inwardly I feel like nothing really matters. Mania seldom visits me anymore. It usually comes when things are looking up. Then I'll find myself fidgeting and unable to concentrate. I tend to get silly around my co-workers, and sometimes do things while completely sober that would normally require alcohol consumption. When manic I tend to talk and talk and talk. I find mania a bit frightening. Most of the time I'm in between. When I'm neutral I'm usually easy-going. Ready to laugh at a moment's notice. Happy to participate in anything going on. Again, I'm lucky because I'm usually neutral. Most of my friends are M/D too. They seem to have much bigger mood swings. I've been told that my M/D is so slight as to not be worth mentioning. I'm grateful to hear it, but my own life is all I know, and this is a part of my life. The [m|d] thing on my archive list is really there for me. I'm trying to get a better idea of how my moodswings work. I 'd like to see if there's a pattern, or if it's perhaps based on what happened that day. I have noticed that I haven't been manic once since starting this journal. [February 6, 2000: No, I'm not M/D. Just like everyone else on the planet I have good days and bad days and neutral days. It was stupid of me to think I was somehow different.]
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diaryland |